Why is my foot warm and wet?

I was about to put away the newly folded laundry when Isaac begins to whine. So I start nursing Isaac and figure I'll just put the clothes away after I'm done. Well...while I'm nursing Isaac, Garrett takes off his diaper and proceeds to pee all over the floor...and my foot. So I put Isaac down for a nap in his crib and put Garrett in the bath and I wash my foot. While cleaning the pee off of the carpet, I hear Isaac crying and then a "THUD"...and the crying got louder. Isaac, our seven month old, climbed out of his crib and flew face first onto the floor. While I'm caring for Isaac, who is in shock after his first flying lesson and screamin' his head off, Garrett gets out of the bath , comes over and pees on me AGAIN. I calm Isaac and put him on the floor away from the urine so he can crawl around, which is what he prefers. While I'm cleaning up the pee AGAIN, Garrett tries to share his cup of Chocolate Milk with Isaac. Isaac pours the entire cup of chocolate milk on the floor. So after I've cleaned up the pee AND the chocolate milk off the carpet, I see that all of the newly folded laundry is now scattered and of course, unfolded, all over the floor.
All before 10am.
Actually, that all happened within an hour.
While I've taken the last 5 minutes to type this I'm sure my kids have turned our apartment into somewhere between a petting zoo and a Walm*rt dumpster....with the smells to match.
I may not make it out of here alive.
To any one who wants kids but has not been "blessed" enough to have them, I just thought I'd let ya know, you're really not missin' out on much.
I also thought of titling this "I should invest in Resolve"
Now more than ever I want a SpotBot. So badly.