"I'm not tired! I won't go to sleep! No nap!" Garrett would have yelled all these things at me in baby jibberish if he could, for about 25 minutes. I finally figured that maybe he's just hungry, so he wolfed down a snack in like 2 minutes and about 2 minutes after that the eyes began to droop.
And about 30 seconds after that...going... going...
So Garrett had on his pj's and I asked him to get dressed and this is what he came back to me as. That's the shirt I wanted him to put on...around his waist. His body is through the neck whole. It's actually bunched around his bottom in the back so he appears to have a large rumpas. And those are Brad's socks on Garrett's feet. That's a common occurrence for Garrett. He LOVES to dress up in anything of Brad's. It's getting to the point where I have to hide the dirty laundry to keep Garrett out of it.
Garrett and his hero. Brad and his favorite playmate. These two have too much fun together. So much that they exhaust one another.
Garrett's having a spiritual experience here. God is telling him that he does, in fact, have to stay with us for several more years and will, in all likelihood, probably take on a lot of our traits. That's why Garrett looks concerned, as though he was smiling at first to see God, then he received the bad news and now that smile is fading.I think Garrett is trying to get back at us for making him sleep in the walk in closet. That’s right, we put his pack’n’play in the walk in closet. It’s big, it’s dark, cool, and quiet in the closet of our one bedroom apartment. So that’s where we put him. He sleeps better in there…and I sleep better with him in there, than if he slept anywhere else.
He’s only been sleeping in a closet since we arrived here in the armpit of the US, aka South Texas, last week. Oddly enough that’s also about the time he decided he can make his own decisions.
He won’t eat what I want him to. He only wants to eat cheese and junk food. Not even fruit, unless it’s watermelon. But he can’t have watermelon a lot because it causes him to break out in tiny red spots around his mouth and on his bum. He loves macaroni and cheese so I’ve been sneaking carrots in. If I feed it to him he’ll eat it, but when I don’t spoon feed him he’ll pick out the carrots and just eat the noodles. I tried it with broccoli yesterday and that was a no go. I tried it again today though and he chewed on a piece of broccoli for about 20 seconds before throwing it of the floor. He’ll eat cheetos, cereal, candy, cake, cheese, chips, watermelon, ice cream and anything else unhealthy…and that’s it. So he’s going hungry. I’m gonna starve him out.
Garrett has also begun to growl at me. You heard me. An actual growl when he’s upset. Who does that?! If he would talk I’m sure we could find a better way for him to express himself and we could understand each other. Brad’s convinced his just stubborn. Example: As we’re getting out of the car the other day I asked Garrett if he wanted his balloon. “Balloon?” crystal clear came from his mouth. “Yes! Balloon! That’s right! Say it again?” All I got was jibber jabber. “What do you want, Garrett?” Nothing. “What’s this called?” pointing to the balloon. More jibber jabber but this time with the attitude of “I know you’re smarter than this, Mom. Did I stutter? I’m not saying it twice. Get it together woman!” Maybe it’s better than he can’t talk though. He’d probably chew me out for making him sleep in the closet.
In other news our AC keeps breaking. Yup, in our 102 degree Texas heat and humidity the cooling system has broken three times in one week. It’s hard not to miss Colorado at those moments. Especially when I see that the temp is 60 in Golden…OUT SIDE and it’s 87 for me INSIDE.
Being from Colorado, I’m not accustomed to living with critters inside my main domain. Animals and insects are things that I exit my home to see. They live out side. I live inside. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy camping as much as the next person! I can tolerate bugs and animals in their own habitat just fine! But like I said…IN THEIR HABITAT. Not mine.
So we’ve got ants everywhere.( And devil-looking black cricket-things too!) It doesn’t matter how clean our apartment is. They love to sleep with us, eat with us and just spend quality time with us. Mostly they gravitate towards our dirty laundry basket. And they bite. Speaking of little things that bite, I hate mosquitoes. They’re just common place around here. Blood suckers…just like the drivers. And I’ll say I’m used to blood suckers and lemme explain before you pass judgment on me for the next topic. I served a 19 month mission for the LDS church in New Jersey and while there I was cursed with Bed Bugs not once, but twice. And I lived to tell about it. So blood sucking night crawlers are not new to me. I’ll admit I’ve become more of a wuss since I’ve been home for three years, had a baby and have been living a sheltered life of buglessness.
But they come out at night and crawl through your things. They crawl up your walls and hide in your furniture. They crawl through your bed and sneak into your pillow…or worse…your mouth! Ok, so that’s just my imagination running rampant, BUT IT COULD HAPPEN! They don’t eat you, no, they aren’t dangerous. Just dirty. I’ve seen several baby cock roaches since we’ve moved into our new apartment in Baytown, Texas. But the baby ones aren’t what scare me.
Upon waking up I first go to the restroom. About one foot from my head is the corner of the counter top. And perfectly situated on that corner is a Roach Leg. Just one. Only one. Reddish brown in color. With little hairs and spikes up and down it. I know what you’re thinking, “So what. It’s just a leg. Not even a whole roach.” That one leg was as long as my pointer finger. JUST THE LEG IS AS LONG AS MY FINGER! Imagine how big the rest of it is! Brad says it’s just an old roach who’s fallin’ apart. He was crawlin’ around it’s leg just fell off. “That ol Bob had his leg fall off” he says is his so completely white boy accent trying to be southern and failing. My mom is southern and I actually lived in South Carolina for 4 years so my accent is pretty good. I get Brad laughin’ pretty hard when I use it. I had to correct him. “ Dat ol Billay Bob he dun loss ‘is leg,” thick with southern drawl. But then I had to correct him again. “No dear. That’s just a warning. They’re sending us a message. We’s dat big and we aint got no probum tearin’ ya’ll ‘part like we did dat ol Billay Bob. We’s ‘ere furse!”
Keep an eye out for my leg, please.
When I told the complex manager she said "Oh those kind of roaches are usually outdoors, that's where they belong. Those kind shouldn't be inside." My thought was "Don't ALL kinds of roaches belong outside? ALL BUGS for that matter? And with bugs that big...well I signed the NO PET clause! If I wanted a pet I'd buy one!"
We left our 65 degree, clear blue skied, mountainous Colorado for an opportunity that will be a great blessing to our family today. We packed everything we could fit into our Subaru, said our goodbyes and drove to Texas.
We stopped in the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it town of Dumas, Texas for dinner…and that’s when we had our first “You know you’re in Texas when…” moments.
We saw a real cowboy. The ones you see in those old westerns. Jeans, collared shirt, cowboy hat, cowboy boots, leathered, tan skin. He looked like he was from an era that wouldn’t have known what an ”old western” was.
We saw a young man wearing basketball shorts, a nice shirt and cowboy boots.
“Hoodies” lived up to it’s claim and we had the world’s best brisket.
Lastly: Garrett played with baby cows in a parking lot. Like 15 of them. Fluffy, lick ya all over, baby cows. And he loved every minute of it.
Day Two:
We went from the desert of Borger to the rainforests of the South. We spent the first night in Borger, a small refining town in the panhandle where Brad did his internship last year. We then decided to use the GPS for the remainder of our trip…and it promptly took us OUT of Texas and INTO Oklahoma…and then BACK to Texas. We drove for 10 hours that day. A long our route we saw our first armadillo, first swamp and got our first “Ya’ll aint frum ‘roun ‘ere ‘er ya?”. As we drove we noticed that as the number of topless bars, adult video stores and stripe clubs increased so did the size and number of churches. And there’s just as much advertising for both.
To top off our day, I’d like to pat myself and Brad on the back for surviving Dallas traffic. These Texans Are Out For Blood.
Day Three:
We’d heard whisperings of the “Rapture” coming and today was the day it occurred. It’s true. The world ended… and we were sent to hell. That’s right, we moved to southern Texas. You get out of your car and you feel like you’ve been slapped in the face by a warm, wet towel. The experience so miserable you feel compelled to cry.
We did find some experiences to laugh about though as we encountered more “You know you’re in Texas when…” moments. We saw a bunch of hogs on the side of the free way, you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting longhorn cattle and one that actually gave me hope: “Peaches and local grown produce” billboards every half mile for about a 100 miles. Brad was cheered up by the fact that red cream soda can be found every where; his treat of choice. Blue Bell chocolate-banana ice cream pops are AMAZING btw, those are my new treat of choice. And speaking of bill boards, I wish I’d had a camera. “Stop the porn! Be reborn! –Jesus” is a billboard that can be seen about a 200 feet before you see some of DW’s Adult Video Stores.
Oh and while we thought Dallas drivers were bad they do not compare to the bloodthirsty drivers that caused our near-death experience in Houston! Who ever thought of cutting through three lanes of traffic and almost doing a u-turn in 75 mph bumper to bumper traffic in a F-350 Truck to take your exit????
Day Four:
So if we did, in reality, get raptured…I guess maybe we didn’t quite make it to hell. I’m sorry. I repent. We are so blessed. Our ward is wonderful.
Our bishop said Garrett could go into the Nursery early! He bolted into that room as if he didn’t know who I was. New friends and toys made his little heart skip a beat, I’m sure. Actually, ya know how most kids hate to go INTO nursery…well, I tried to change his diaper after he’d been in there an hour and OMGoodness that kid did NOT want to leave that place. He was furious at me! After church, Garrett’s teacher said that he was the only one who did not try to eat the crayons and he also put them away when he was done. That’s right. We might make a human being out of him after all.
Since Garrett wasn’t with me during church I actually got to pay attention! The Houston Texas East Mission President taught our Sunday school lesson. In Relief Society our lesson was about gifts and talents. I loved how all the sisters were so good at pointing out each others good qualities, like everyone was friends rather than just belonging to the same church. I even got a good laugh out of the lesson. The teacher explained “Gifts and talents are meant to be blessings in our lives and the lives of those around us. They can even bless our lives to the point where they are therapeutic. In fact my husband’s hoe is his therapist!...HIS GARDEN HOE, I mean!!! Gardening is therapeutic for him!” lol
After church several members came by to give us cookies, a fruit salad, invite us for dinner and drop off donated furniture. We’ve been given two dressers, a dinning room table with chairs and a KING size bed to use for the summer. And to finish off our night, kind members of our ward had us over for real homemade Gumbo while Garret got to run around like a chicken with his head cut off playing with their children.
If Garret could talk I’m sure he’d tell you that he died and went to heaven yesterday, maybe this whole rapture experience won’t be so bad after all.
Sorry for the lack of pictures...not sure where the camera is right now.
Just a quick note, Garrett was an absolute angel the entire trip. This new baby is gonna be just as strong as Garrett is. He’s moving and kicking so much I find myself in pain often. Brad’s knee is doing fine. He had his first day of work today, I have yet to find out how it went yet. Although I did find out that they’ve already segregated the Mormons. The only other Mormon intern is his office mate. ;o)
